The Hipsters are Doing it Wrong

I think it's safe to say that most people like to be included. Being left out sucks, feeling left out might be even worse.

I first came to the harsh realization of this when I was somewhere around six or seven. I was (and still am) a classic tag along to my older brother Gregory. Now he had a certain character flaw which caused him to choose friends from families which didn't have kids my age. Consequently I was left with no choice but to strive to enter the world of the older kids. They played some pretty awesome games, for example:

Game #1

1. Convince Bryce that a mysterious concept known as "immaturity" is really what you want to be, and that to be called "mature" is the worst insult known to mankind.

2. Spend most of the day reinforcing the behavior. "Bryce, you're being so mature right now, stop it.", "Dude, that car is so immature looking!"

3. Let Bryce go home and tell everyone about his day.

4. Watch the fireworks.

Game #2

1. Do fun things in the name of an exclusive club, hinting that Bryce could possibly join the club someday.

2. Lay down the conditions for entering the club - a series of tasks (surprisingly not including doing anyone's chores), usually including jumping off of tall things.

3. Have Bryce attempt the final and greatest task - procuring the "bubble gum" from the secret cache.

4. Laugh and run away when Bryce realizes that the cache is actually a hole in the ground containing about 20 snakes.

and then of course there is the legendary "Five minutes peace", which works like this:

1. Tell Bryce he can play with you all day, but you just need "five minutes peace" first, during which you'll leave for five minutes and then come back.

2. Never come back.

I'm not bitter, I promise. Just know, Luke and Gregory, that someday you'll want to be in my club and then it will be my turn for five minutes peace.

As it turns out I haven't changed a whole lot. I still spend a lot of time thinking about how I can get in on the new fun thing. That's pretty normal, right? Now here's the revolutionary part: What if whenever I was doing the fun thing, I invited other people to do it with me? Some people are masters of the invitation, but I am not. Think about it though, what does an invitation say? It says "I'm doing something that I think would be valuable to you. And I value you enough that I want you to have this experience." It affirms both that you desire value and that you ARE valuable.

Hipsters aren't good at this. They'll tell you all the cool things they're doing, but they won't invite you because if too many people know about it, it gets ruined. What a weird idea! In general, even an introvert like me can admit that most things are fun with more people. I'm thinking about Canby house dinners. Or maybe ice skating. Playing baseball. Watching a movie. Pretty much the only time that lots of people isn't cool is when the whole point is to hang out with just one person. Mr or Mrs. Hipster, I promise not to ruin your new favorite band that no one has heard about. I promise. Also may I point out that I like your mustache?

Now if only I could think of more things to do that would be worth inviting people to. Anyone wanna play wiffle ball? 

I'm not joking.

Although I suspect that inviting people to do things that you do regularly, (i.e. feeding the chickens, taking a walk in the park, reading a book) can be just as good as great things like wiffle ball.

On Thinking

There are good times for thinking and bad times for thinking.

One good time for thinking is while you are walking in Gabriel Park in the morning. People walk by you and they smile at you, and you think about how great it is that people smile at you, even if it is just a social expectation. I try to walk in Gabriel Park in the mornings a lot these days. The other day I got passed by a swarm of mid-30's stroller moms, all smiling madly and showing me that their lives are great with these babies. I'm tempted not to believe them because Portland is all about cynicism sometimes. But then I choose not to, because, think about it, they're in their mid-30's and they've got babies. They're probably happy. I can respect that.

One bad time for thinking is late at night, when you're in your room and you're a little bit disappointed by how badly you cover Paul McCartney's "Let it Be" on your piano. Thinking late at night doesn't do much except make you feel depressed about how you're not good enough, or how you're not the person you wanted to be. There are no confident, smiling stroller moms in your room to make you smile. Not helpful.

Instead of thinking in your room late at night, you ought to listen to Mr. McCartney's "Let it Be" very loudly (on your headphones, so you don't wake people up). It will be therapeutic. Then you should go to bed and talk to Jesus a little. That would be a good decision. Then you can wake up in the morning and take a walk in the park.

It's not ignoring those thoughts about self-worth (because they're very important to deal with), it's waiting until you're in a good place to deal with them. Get a little perspective that only some natural lighting and good sleep can give you. Stroller moms help too.

Goodnight. I'll see you in the park.

Coming soon, to a park near you... STROLLER MOMS!

Topmost Marchy Moments

About a month ago I challenged Jessica to come up with a top things in March post for our blog war. About a week and a half ago, I remembered and decided to do it too. Then I got sick and had an intense week at work so it didn't happen. But all excuses aside, here is my version finally.

1. Every year around march there is a week of great sun and warm weather. I'm pretty sure it's sent by God to keep us alive up here in the northwest. Without that week, everyone would move, having given up hope of the sun returning. It happened this month, and it did exactly what it was supposed to. Now we just have to hang in there until May...

2. March Madness - the time of year when I, with no real knowledge of anything basketball related, create a fun bracket, mostly just because brackets are fun to watch. My two final teams were out by the second round....but brackets are fun! I'm pretty sure that at the Canby house, Erin (possibly the only person to know less about NCAA basketball than me) was the eventual winner. Which gives me hope for next year.

3. Speaking of sports, in March baseball's spring training begins. While I barely follow basketball now, it reminds me of my middle school/home school years when I religiously followed the Seattle Mariners via radio. Dave Niehaus's voice holds magical power over me. I gave up when Edgar Martinez retired and Jamie Moyer left. I'll come back when they again have a power hitter too slow to make it to third and a changeup pitcher who throws slower than the cars on I-5 during rush hour.

4. March is, with all of the gloomy weather, one of the few months where it is socially permissable to watch upwards of 4 movies a week.

5. While Easter was in April, most of Holy Week was in March. Holy Week is really mysterious and personal to me, and it also means I get to play the Holy Week songs from the Covenant Hymnbook, including the awesome "O Sacred Head, Now Wounded". You ought to read the text sometime.

6. Ping Pong is having a revival at John, Robert, and Paul's house. I am currently ranked #4 (sadly of 4), but I'm threatening Robert's #3 position.

7. I had a couple of miraculous interventions at work. One kid, who I had previously been playing Star Trek with (despite having almost no knowledge of the subject) was going crazy, being loud, making other kids mad and absolutely refusing to go to bed. After about 5 minutes of trying to talk him through it with no luck, I uttered the magic words "Captain Kirk, you're not acting like yourself. What's wrong?" To this he stood up straight, saluted, replied "I'm sorry Spock, I don't know what came over me." Then then turned off the light and went to bed without a sound. I didn't hear a peep from him for the rest of the night.

8. March is the perfect time for taking walks through Gabriel Park. It's warm enough to not have to wear a full coat at least. I can take a lap around the park in about 40 minutes, which is the perfect amount of time to pray, process, talk to strangers, wish I was better at tennis, and get the blood moving. Taking walks is one of those things that every time I do it, I wish I did it more often. Apparently my grandfather took a walk every day, and he was pretty great.

9. I've been working out with anyone and everyone I can. If you want to go on a run, I'll go with you. If you want to do abs, I'll do them with you. If you want to do Wii fit, I'll do that too. It's strange to me that only after 6 years of cross country and 13 years of soccer have I become aware of the post-workout endorphin rush.

10. March is a month of buckling down and powering through. I love that I finally have some semblance of a routine in my life, and although I hate it too, it's nice to have something under a little control. Come May I'm sure I'll be re-evaluating everything again. That's the season that May brings for me, but for now...I'm going steady.