The Hipsters are Doing it Wrong

I think it's safe to say that most people like to be included. Being left out sucks, feeling left out might be even worse.

I first came to the harsh realization of this when I was somewhere around six or seven. I was (and still am) a classic tag along to my older brother Gregory. Now he had a certain character flaw which caused him to choose friends from families which didn't have kids my age. Consequently I was left with no choice but to strive to enter the world of the older kids. They played some pretty awesome games, for example:

Game #1

1. Convince Bryce that a mysterious concept known as "immaturity" is really what you want to be, and that to be called "mature" is the worst insult known to mankind.

2. Spend most of the day reinforcing the behavior. "Bryce, you're being so mature right now, stop it.", "Dude, that car is so immature looking!"

3. Let Bryce go home and tell everyone about his day.

4. Watch the fireworks.

Game #2

1. Do fun things in the name of an exclusive club, hinting that Bryce could possibly join the club someday.

2. Lay down the conditions for entering the club - a series of tasks (surprisingly not including doing anyone's chores), usually including jumping off of tall things.

3. Have Bryce attempt the final and greatest task - procuring the "bubble gum" from the secret cache.

4. Laugh and run away when Bryce realizes that the cache is actually a hole in the ground containing about 20 snakes.

and then of course there is the legendary "Five minutes peace", which works like this:

1. Tell Bryce he can play with you all day, but you just need "five minutes peace" first, during which you'll leave for five minutes and then come back.

2. Never come back.

I'm not bitter, I promise. Just know, Luke and Gregory, that someday you'll want to be in my club and then it will be my turn for five minutes peace.

As it turns out I haven't changed a whole lot. I still spend a lot of time thinking about how I can get in on the new fun thing. That's pretty normal, right? Now here's the revolutionary part: What if whenever I was doing the fun thing, I invited other people to do it with me? Some people are masters of the invitation, but I am not. Think about it though, what does an invitation say? It says "I'm doing something that I think would be valuable to you. And I value you enough that I want you to have this experience." It affirms both that you desire value and that you ARE valuable.

Hipsters aren't good at this. They'll tell you all the cool things they're doing, but they won't invite you because if too many people know about it, it gets ruined. What a weird idea! In general, even an introvert like me can admit that most things are fun with more people. I'm thinking about Canby house dinners. Or maybe ice skating. Playing baseball. Watching a movie. Pretty much the only time that lots of people isn't cool is when the whole point is to hang out with just one person. Mr or Mrs. Hipster, I promise not to ruin your new favorite band that no one has heard about. I promise. Also may I point out that I like your mustache?

Now if only I could think of more things to do that would be worth inviting people to. Anyone wanna play wiffle ball? 

I'm not joking.

Although I suspect that inviting people to do things that you do regularly, (i.e. feeding the chickens, taking a walk in the park, reading a book) can be just as good as great things like wiffle ball.