On Thinking

There are good times for thinking and bad times for thinking.

One good time for thinking is while you are walking in Gabriel Park in the morning. People walk by you and they smile at you, and you think about how great it is that people smile at you, even if it is just a social expectation. I try to walk in Gabriel Park in the mornings a lot these days. The other day I got passed by a swarm of mid-30's stroller moms, all smiling madly and showing me that their lives are great with these babies. I'm tempted not to believe them because Portland is all about cynicism sometimes. But then I choose not to, because, think about it, they're in their mid-30's and they've got babies. They're probably happy. I can respect that.

One bad time for thinking is late at night, when you're in your room and you're a little bit disappointed by how badly you cover Paul McCartney's "Let it Be" on your piano. Thinking late at night doesn't do much except make you feel depressed about how you're not good enough, or how you're not the person you wanted to be. There are no confident, smiling stroller moms in your room to make you smile. Not helpful.

Instead of thinking in your room late at night, you ought to listen to Mr. McCartney's "Let it Be" very loudly (on your headphones, so you don't wake people up). It will be therapeutic. Then you should go to bed and talk to Jesus a little. That would be a good decision. Then you can wake up in the morning and take a walk in the park.

It's not ignoring those thoughts about self-worth (because they're very important to deal with), it's waiting until you're in a good place to deal with them. Get a little perspective that only some natural lighting and good sleep can give you. Stroller moms help too.

Goodnight. I'll see you in the park.

Coming soon, to a park near you... STROLLER MOMS!